Ready to Binge?

Jan 1 - 2025 is calling
Jan 2 - yappers would never survive 
Jan 3 - pancakes for the table?  
Jan 4 - where tf did all the vegetables go 
Jan 5 - what’s wrong with my sewing?
Jan 6 - pipe burst 
Jan 7 - living on the prairie 
Jan 8 - scar had no rizz 
Jan 9 - they really killed Johnny 
Jan 10 - coochie and classmates 
Jan 11 - perhaps some chips for the table?
Jan 12 - biking in slippers 
Jan 13 - dip spit, Utah, and cryotherapy  
Jan 14 - the three-legged dog 
Jan 15 - get a backup liver
Jan 16 - where’s the logic flow 
Jan 17 - where was bro number 4? 
Jan 18 - the day tiktok went dark
Jan 19 - gotcha! The tok is back 
Jan 20 - 1458 days 
Jan 21 - 1-800-ZZZ-Quil
Jan 22 - RIP papa 
Jan 23 - I just wanna ice skate backwards 
Jan 24 - dart hustler 
Jan 25 - knees in the summer 
Jan 26 - shut up you grammar witch 
Jan 27 - should we order a stretcher?
Jan 28 - I never liked your chili 
Jan 29 - chief pie officer
Jan 30 - the Coast Guard is always ready 
Jan 31 - wdym the diner is closed 

Feb 1 - bowlero vs riviero 
Feb 2 - who’s this diva?? 
Feb 3 - death and Oreos 
Feb 4 - another suit…ruined 
Feb 5 - waterless goldfish and a footlong cookie 
Feb 6 - the email *the David email 
Feb 7 - cops at 11:01 
Feb 8 - the rot 
Feb 9 - eagles vs cheefs 
Feb 10 - the toxic ex fever 
Feb 11 - bed sweats 
Feb 12 - shh the jerk wants to speak 
Feb 13 - mute the slurp 
Feb 14 - slept through love 
Feb 15 - no applause for Captain Beefheart 
Feb 16 - live from NY it’s Sunday night 
Feb 17 - the audience is a giant puppy 
Feb 18 - shall we pin up our Snooki bumps 
Feb 19 - the night is long but so is this cookie
Feb 20 - ran out of meatballs 
Feb 21 - dairy boy and a limbo stick
Feb 22 - killed by boba straw 
Feb 23 - pinkies up for peaches
Feb 24 - prom in the wrong group chat 
Feb 25 - Sinatra, Ice Spice, and some slimy feathers 
Feb 26 - man by the car window 
Feb 27 - zombies banging on the door 
Feb 28 - martinis and a third location

March 1 - chained to the cookie
March 2 - Adrien Brody said stop the music
March 3 - the clock strikes cookie
March 4 - ding dong it’s subway
March 5 - nothing left to give
March 6 - bear in the living room
March 7 - bad luck diner
March 8 - but they were step-siblings
March 9 - driving on the median & hiking up turd mountain
March 10 - OMG this bread
March 11 - year 27
March 12 - avoiding row 10
March 13 - pancakes by noon
March 14 - fried back
March 15 - heatstroke at Hemingway’s
March 16 - the plane is jello
March 17 - the 5th member exiled
March 18 - have y’all ever been in a portal?
March 19 - meme for mockups?
March 20 - one nicely seasoned foot please
March 21 - Conan interrupts the reaping
March 22 - mama a cgi dwarf behind you
March 23 - shoppers, you have 30 mins
March 24 - the first portfolio
March 25 - and now an even bigger loser
March 26 - 6 maybe 8 wait yeah 6
March 27 - from the womb not the podium
March 28 - the big review
March 29 - jump scare gale
March 30 - the girl who cried manifesto
March 31 - confidence out, therapy in

April 1 - didn’t know this was taekwondo class 
April 2 - pov we’re in the submarine
April 3 - rooftops and stomach pats 
April 4 - baby at the forum
April 5 - the big scurry 
April 6 - pollen between the keys 
April 7 - Dave Grohl on the Zoom  
April 8 - chat is my new therapist 
April 9 - text for the plot
April 10 - 5 ciders, 3 fries, and a karaoke bar
April 11 - art direct the ferns
April 12 - bingo darling 
April 13 - beefin with zazzle
April 14 - the 38 dollar parking ticket 
April 15 - joke fomo
April 16 - no cheese on the grilled cheese
April 17 - I’ve been meaning to tell you
April 18 - six bars of gold
April 19 - mean prep school girls
April 20 - blaze up Easter bunny
April 21 - citizens of poopville
April 22 - that’s a lot of loose meat 
April 23 - hi I’m…
April 24 - full on fries 
April 25 - magnet rizzler
April 26 - Michael vs Michael 
April 27 - chair be a copywriter 
April 28 - mayor of ick city 
April 29 - are we hang by the pool level friends?
April 30 - the 6-minute minute

May 1 - the deserted brewery
May 2 - the last last prom
May 3 - calming the hangxiety
May 4 - girls that grill
May 5 - praying for tajin
May 6 - the double email
May 7 - out of body at the brewery
May 8 - feeling exposed in the front row
May 9 - 60 out of 60
May 10 - unsolicited quad pics
May 11 - nightmares and Jesus with a lightsaber
May 12 - crying at karaoke
May 13 - thumb cramps at the Mario Kart Grand Prix
May 14 - feels like we’re walking the plank
May 15 - president of delulu land
May 16 - list of all my ghosters
May 17 - donuts and goodbyes
May 18 - the dark horse pope
May 19 - not until we got the papers
May 20 - it all comes back to Hoboken
May 21 - no longer the destination
May 22 - waterboarded by milk
May 23 - crashing out at the mechanic
May 24 - sublet scramble
May 25 - back-breaking bench
May 26 - the kitchen has closed
May 27 - slapped by baby hands
May 28 - Nathan Fielder appreciation chat
May 29 - forcing down dinner at 6pm
May 30 - only a 15 min walk
May 31 - lost at the Greek festival

June 1 - mind-blowing calls and a misleading skirt
June 2 - the forgotten fries 
June 3 - back to the villa 
June 4 - unexpected facetimes 
June 5 - porch chats and squirrel fights 
June 6 - back at the diner again 
June 7 - the laziest title 
June 8 - before the end of the trilogy 
June 9 - get this man a pimple patch 
June 10 - fortune-less
June 11 - half a page of Obama 
June 12 - crying over shoes
June 13 - traffic in the air 
June 14 - let me get my Casio
June 15 - it’s time to cross the bridge 
June 16 - paid to refresh the page
June 17 - two sets of bare cheeks
June 18 - juggling mister frostee
June 19 - spot the Megan Rapinoe dupe
June 20 - attacked by parrots 
June 21 - chunky yogurt and yellow mush
June 22 - death by stationary bike
June 23 - overqualified babysitters
June 24 - the Judas voice memo correction
June 25 - secret soundproof meetings
June 26 - the only fan’s foot model 
June 27 - indie band in a van
June 28 - John Krasinski has range
June 29 - Sundays are for (turkey) clubbing
June 30 - unauthorized overtime 

July 1 - and now we’ll make an OOH
July 2 - booed at trivia 
July 3 - white knuckling turbulence 
July 4 - fireworks on an iPad 
July 5 - almond bread is a non-negotiable 
July 6 - I just wanna go on a swing 
July 7 - talk to the diamond wall
July 8 - the great TP bandit 
July 9 - I’m lost on slide 192
July 10 - floor comping 
July 11 - and what episode is that?
July 12 - ghost sighting
July 13 - shoes off the booth 
July 14 - dart between the eyes
July 15 - control + shit 
July 16 - odd potato chips
July 17 - proof of honesty 
July 18 - tardy on the tarmac 
July 19 - ya know…Santa’s coming to town
July 20 - where’s the countdown 
July 21 - we’ll always have the MTA
July 22 - read at your own risk 
July 23 - Guy Fieri just dropped 
July 24 - cement mochi 
July 25 - stuck in the river tube 
July 26 - Dutch dude in a Hawaiian shirt 
July 27 - in lieu of flowers (please donate to the Obama Foundation) 
July 28 - the 15 phone calls 
July 29 - put the dogs in a hard hat 
July 30 - black pellet toilet 
July 31 - a $270 uber

August 1 - overheard: heroin not for me 
August 2 - Lorde wasn’t wrong 
August 3 - all out of bugs bunny 
August 4 - wait so where’s the update
August 5 - the 20 min name debate
August 6 - dropping tea one stop away 
August 7 - the summer I ate pasta
August 8 - all in the minor details
August 9 - TPP and a magic sales lady
August 10 - that’s meryl sleep 
August 11 - the repacking dweeb 
August 12 - unlocking LA 
August 13 - Taylor helping small businesses 
August 14 - whimpering bath time
August 15 - Sofia gets all the hotties 
August 16 - transferring blenders 
August 17 - Chad is always available
August 18 - a hotter Steve
August 19 - two passage reading nickels 
August 20 - the Conrad brain edit
August 21 - the four-year dinner debt
August 22 - Chopin rolling in his grave
August 23 - pay off or marry rich 
August 24 - hell yeah, a meatball sub 
August 25 - a watched email never refreshes
August 26 - America’s royal wedding
August 27 - locked up the mini 
August 28 - praying for carbon monoxide 
August 29 - my FYP said otherwise 
August 30 - big Conrad apologist 
August 31 - make sure I’m mentally sane

Sept 1 - loud popcorn chewers
Sept 2 - in a state of preannoyance
Sept 3 - you’re just too funny for us 
Sept 4 - rejection depression 
Sept 5 - ciao ciao. there’s the door. 
Sept 6 - J names watch out
Sept 7 - return of the club 
Sept 8 - sobbing in the terminal 
Sept 9 - be a potato girl 
Sept 10 - hour long emails 
Sept 11 - raw chicken in a bathtub 
Sept 12 - should I get a trashcan?
Sept 13 - left the leave in on the floor
Sept 14 - 6AM bedtime 
Sept 15 - hour long emails continued
Sept 16 - twilight love interests love burritos 
Sept 17 - the sweaty finale 
Sept 18 - anonymous hyena 
Sept 19 - what about this taco with legs?
Sept 20 - cut by a frozen chocolate chip 
Sept 21 - ask yourself: is this me? 
Sept 22 - September 22 > September 21 
Sept 23 - lettuce spec work 
Sept 24 - a bagel bite connoisseur 
Sept 25 - finally a good salmon 
Sept 26 - guiding the doordasher 
Sept 27 - uneaten snacks and rescheduled plans
Sept 28 - an hour late to the coffee date 
Sept 29 - funfetti not upsetti
Sept 30 - we ride for Andy 

Oct 1 - counting down the rounds 
Oct 2 - a swift is in the air 
Oct 3 - it’s vinyl o’clock
Oct 4 - yoga not flowing
Oct 5 - deleting the ex-messages
Oct 6 - welcome to the nav bar
Oct 7 - mike is long gone